I was in that stage of sleep where you see things in your dreams that you are actually hearing in the real world. "I was following the...I was following the...I was following the..."
The letter "I" was punching across my brain like in Sesame Street when I abruptly awoke and realized that Fleet Foxes was utterly failing to wake up my little sister for school. Again. I hate that song.
"Jillian."
"What?"
I like that she can answer my question but not turn off her alarm.
"Turn off your alarm!"
"Oh."
And snooze. This scene repeats five times, and I have a strong urge to punch a baby. Or maybe just Jillian.
I have been living with my parents for the three weeks prior to shoving off and fulfilling my lifelong dream of being Pippy Longstocking aboard a ship. My family listens to talk radio which makes me feel like my nerves are on top of my skin when I'm awake. So you can imagine how it makes me feel at 6:30 in the morning when I'm being awakened by a band that uses far too much reverb. My inner four year old emerged in full glory and I indulged in a first class temper tantrum.
I lept from my bed, ran down the hall and slammed my parents bedroom door where Armstrong and Ghetty were screeching about another pop culture scandal. Next, I stumbled to the other end of the house where precious little Jessica was listening to Enya as she got ready for school. I pounded excedrine for my rapidly developing migraine.
"Goodmorning Christine!"
"You people are the WORST!"
Stummbled back to the the pink and purple spectacle of a bedroom I now share with Jill. Hi I'm 27 and I share a room with my little sister in my parents house. I like to tell people I'm passing through.
"Jillian get out of bed."
"Why?"
Because you set your alarm! So that logically means you need get up. Otherwise, why the hell did you set it?"
"It's on snooze!"
"You people are the WORST!"
Thirty minutes later the house has been evacuated and all is silent. But I pounded two pills of caffeine and so the silence is rather pointless now.
My four year old self goes back into her cave and my thoughts turn to six days from now. Living on my own has made me spoiled. I like to have my own room and wake up how I want to. But I'm going to go live, first in a small dorm room with at least one other person, if not six. Then, move on to an even smaller ship and live there for eight weeks. Why am I doing this again?
Oh God, what if I change? What if I don't change? What if I sink?? My alarm goes off.
"Tomorrow's freedom is today's surrender..."
"What would you like me to surrender?" I dread the response, but I have to ask.
"Your fear."
"Oh. Well yeah ok. That's good. Let's do that."
The Holy Spirit sits on my chest and His peace takes over.
"I didn't surrender yet."
"You are my child. I have chosen you, and my presence is always here for you to enjoy. Also, you're not gonna sink."
"I should probably text Jessica and tell her goodmorning."
In six days I leave for Hawaii. If you would like to support me on this adventure, you can give at http://ywamships.net/give/. Also, much prayer would be appreciated...for my future roommates...as I am prone to be grumpy first thing in the morning.
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